Toggles Connection Newsletter
Trophies of His Grace
The 99% Club (Using Appropriate Emotions)
—by Alaine
(From the Toggles Connection Newsletter)
What is the 99% Club, you ask? It’s for those who are 99 and 99/100th% merged (integrated). Since integration isn’t the total definition of healing, many of us don’t even recognize that even when we are almost all or totally merged, there are still new challenges we need to be prepared for.
What are some of these challenges?
One of the biggest I think is this: Learning to use our emotions ourselves!
By that I mean, now when we’re angry at something or someone, we have to learn how to use that emotion without killing the guy or longing for re-dissociation (is that a word???) so that someone else inside will take care of it for us!
It’s kind of like having an artist’s palette of colors (our emotions). When we were still fragmented, each of these “colors” was in a separate place. We had one mad part, one ashamed part, one carefree part, etc. And believe me, these colors were INTENSE!!! Wild fuchsia, hot pinks, midnight blacks!
But after these parts are integrated (that is, when they each take their rightful place within us), then the colors get toned down a bit, and we get to use combinations of colors to make subtle differences in our picture.
And that takes time to learn how to do. How do we learn it??? Just like SPDs (those with Single Personality Disorder!) do…by practicing using our emotions ourselves.
This has been a learning thing for me too. I don’t like using an appropriately strong emotion of anger. It feels uncomfortable to express. But each time I am “angry without sinning,” I get a little more used to doing it. And I get a little better at staying calm on the inside even though I have to express anger outwardly.
What do I mean? Let me give you an example. A few months ago I was flying to a speaking engagement. The airlines got everything all mixed up, and it wasn’t until I was stranded in Phoenix that they told me that had forgotten to call me and tell me that my flight was cancelled.
The right thing to do in that situation, as far as I could see, was for them to arrange for me to get on another airline so I would arrive in time to speak.
They, however, didn’t seem to think that was necessary. So…I prayed a lot and then began expressing a firmer and firmer emotion of anger at their lack of responsibility, in an effort to get them to do the right thing.
I gave myself an 82% on that one! I’m still learning too. I hope the next time I’m confronted with something like that, I can be just as insistent that they do that right thing and remain calmer on the inside as well!I
