Toggles Connection Newsletter
Trophies of His Grace

Longing to Belong

—by Alaine
(From the Toggles Connection Newsletter)

How many times have you watched a kind, gentle daddy put his arm around his daughter’s shoulder as they sit together in church? Part of you is afraid to be so close to a man, but the other part says, “I wish that were me.” 

How does the Lord fill that empty hole inside—the one that longs to be safe, to be loved, and to belong? Is it possible to “grow up backwards” and have what you never had as a child? Is it possible to satisfy that sometimes embarrassing hunger inside to be a little girl again, only, this time, to be treated with gentleness instead of violence? 

I believe very strongly that the answer is YES! God can fill that “pothole” in your emotions. He can heal that raw wound inside. He can “make up” for those awful years.

How does he do it? I think that the specifics are different for each person, just as a good father deals differently with each of His children depending on exactly what they need.

Sometimes part of the process of learning how it was supposed to have been comes from watching healthy families interact. Sometimes you can do a “Take 2” of your experience as a child by giving your own son or daughter the gentleness and love you never had.

But I think that one of the most powerful ways to have the Lord heal that longing to belong is to begin to realize what it means to belong to God’s family now.

For many in the church (especially those who have had a good family experience as a child), this concept may not seem to be as important as it really is. But for those who have had to disconnect themselves from their parents and other family members, this truth takes on an even more special meaning. Look at how God views you:

“And ye are Christ's; and Christ is God's.” –I Corinthians 3:23

“Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints, and of the household of God;” –Ephesians 2:19 

“Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.”

–I John 3:1

For many people, the truths in these verses are hard to believe. How do you get them to seep down into your life? How do you begin to believe these verses when everything inside denies it? I hate to sound simplistic, but the answer is simple: Practice. After you read these truths say, “I choose to believe that.”

Also, make affirmations of truth like:


Oh, and one last comment; the name “Abba, Father” can bring us into a closeness with Him that makes us weep as we really see how strong, how safe, and how gentle our Heavenly Father is.